Juggling Solo

As I mentioned a few months ago, my husband got a new job that is requiring him to travel more than he used to. Overall it's not bad, but it definitely led me to change some of my management strategies when he is away.

1. Asking for Help: Since we have no family in the area, I have to rely on hired sitters & help from friends while my husband is away. I hired a sitter to help out when my son had a soccer game at the same time my daughter had dance class. The awesome sitter took my girl to dance and brought her home and fixed her lunch while I took the boys to my oldest's soccer game. It worked out great! I also hired her to come for a few hours so I could go to BSF one evening. I am getting so much out of BSF that spending a few dollars to I can keep up my weekly participation is well worth it! My awesome friends have been a huge help assisting with getting one of my kids home from a b-day party when I had to be home with other 2 who needed to nap. Also, I am so luck to have girlfriends with AWESOME taste in clothes! I needed a cocktail dress for a wedding reception and didn't have to to shop for one...one of my friends had a bunch of them for me to try and choose from - soooo wonderful!

2. Closing the kitchen after dinner: This one has made SUCH a difference in the evenings when I'm trying to get all 3 kids (+2 dogs) fed and settled before bedtime. After we eat dinner, everything is immediately cleaned up and the kitchen is CLOSED!!! No snacks, no extra cups of milk (except for the baby who gets some before bed), no "finishing dinner later". Once my older kids decide to get up from the table, THAT-IS-IT! The first night we did this I got some push back and tears, but the benefits have far outweighed the fussing! The kitchen is clean for the day by 7:00.

3. Taking care of my needs: While he is gone I make exercise a priority for me. This probably seems counterintuitive since it just adds to the busyness of my day, but exercise is critical for my mental health. I have to be disciplined to get the workouts in, whether it's getting up at 5AM, or braving the afternoon heat at 3:30 to get in a run before picking up the kids from school. It's so worth it - I'm a better mom when I have exercised! Likewise, I have to remember to eat...this also may sound ridiculous, but when you have 5 other beings dependent on you, often your hunger gets overlooked in order to get everyone else taken care of. It's detrimental mostly b/c when I get hungry, I get cranky - and a cranky, impatient mom is not good for the family. So, while I don't usually eat meals when my husband is gone, I keep plenty of snacks (mostly unhealthy!) around in case I need to eat but don't have time to sit down. :)

4. Early Bedtime: When I'm home alone with the kids, I'm on my feet from sun-up until all 3 are in bed. Work is often a welcome relief (even though I teach for 2-3 hrs a day) b/c I have some time to sit down when working in my office. Therefore, I go to bed early. That way, when my husband gets home, we're all well rested and ready to have fun as a family.

These are just a few things that work for me when I'm juggling solo. Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Updates and Plans

Since I haven't posted much about things I have blogged about in the past, I figured I'd give a little update on where I am on these things.

Cutting back at work:  I cut back to 4 days a week starting in Sept and it was a GREAT decision.  Having that extra day with my kids and to keep our household running smoothly was much needed!

Hospitality:  My goal of having people over at least 3 times per month manifested a little differently over the past 4-6 weeks.  We had company in July and Sept for a while and additionally, I was working on coordinating a dinner honoring the teachers, board, & staff of the Christian school who shares the buidling with our church.  Honestly, planning for that took up pretty much all my extra time.  The dinner was this past Saturday and went well.  It is so wonderful to honor others for no other reason but to say, "thanks for what you do".  I am glad to have been part of planning for the dinner.

Organization:  This is going pretty well right now.  My next project to tackle will be figuring out how to organize my kids' clothes.  How to better locate hand-me-downs, etc. 

Half Marathon Training:  This is going well.  My race is less than a month away and I ran a 10-11 miler this weekend.  I say that b/c I'm not sure of the actual distance b/c I had to finish the last few miles on our treadmill so my husband could get my son to his soccer match on time.  So, I ran the first 8.5 outside and the remainder inside.  This week was a struggle b/c I was recovering from a cold...I think I left part of my lung somewhere along the route!

BSF:  I am starting my first BSF class tonight!  Can't Wait!  Attached is the link for any of you who might want to start attending a class in your area. 
http://www.bsfinternational.org/

Other:  We had family pictures taked yesterday for our Christmas card.  Our photographer sent us a couple of proofs (below is one).  Can't wait to see the rest!  Looking forward to the rest of 2010 -we have a wedding to go to, birthdays to celebrate, and holidays and visits to look forward to. 

Mommy Metabolism

I had an interesting experience this week that brought metabolism to my mind today.  After returning from my weekend trip, I got on the scale for my weekly weigh-in and realized that the last 3 weeks of eating bad had caught up with me on the order of 3-4 pounds.  While this isn't much, it's enough that I noticed those pounds on my run.  In general, I have no problem sharing my weight - I just don't think it's a big deal - I even use my own ht/wt stats when I teach classes.  If you're healthy, there is no reason to fear or be ashamed of that number - I think that fear and embarassment contributes to the weight obsession of women today.  Anyway, I am about 5'4" and weighed in this week at 112.  Ideally, I like to sit between 108-109 when I'm training for a race.  Anyway, I got on the bandwagon and stuck to fruits veggies/lean proteins and 48 hrs later was down to 108.....I was shocked when I got back on the scale this morning and was already back down...now, I'm not saying this to brag but b/c this is a SUCH a far cry from last year at this time when I was postpartum...

Now, with my last pregnancy I gained approximately 35-40 pounds.  I was a little heavier when I found out I was preggo b/c it was after Christmas.  By the time I went in for delivery, I was tipping the scale at 148 pounds, which is pretty big for my small Asian frame.  For most of my pregnancies, I always seem to gain 30-40 - lucky me (not!)!  Anyway, I remember being postpartum last Sept with 25+ pounds to lose, struggling to lose every ounce, and not losing ANYTHING for the first 3 months!  In addition, any extra calories showed up on the scale almost immediately (and I was also exercising 5-6 times a week - hard)!  Those postpartum pounds are the absolute WORST!!!  By Christmas I was about 120, but I had to wrk my tail off for every single ounce!  It finally all came off by the end of Feb/early March. 

Why am I writing this???  Because I am amazed at the difference in my metabolism a year after having a baby compared to what it was right after.  A year ago, 3-4 pounds would have taken me 6 weeks to lose (at least!!!).  It's no wonder postpartum pounds are the toughest - everything in your body wants to hold onto them - your metabolism is SO much slower!  If there are any of you out there who are post partum and struggling - I hope this gives you hope.  Hang in there and things will return to normal...however, you may want to give yourself a full year.  

Avon Walk for Breast Cancer

This weekend I spent an amazing 2 days crewing for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Santa Barbara.  It was my priveledge to support those walking who know victims of the disease or who themselves have suffered the disease.  It was an awesome, wonderful experience and I met some of the strongest and bravest women.  I was a guest speaker at the opening ceremonies and enjoyed that group more than any other I have spoken to - what an honor to be able to address that crowd!  In second picture you can see Noelle (on my left) whose hand I am holding but is not raised.  This is because she had a double mastectomy 1 week prior to the event and despite being covered in stitches and in pain, walked all 39.3 miles!!! Amazing!

The next 2 days I worked with a team to provide water, gatorade, bandaids, porta potties, encouragement, and support to all the close to 3000 walkers who walked a full marathon the first day and a 1/2 marathon the second.  My mom and I were on the same team with a group of 5 other awesome people.  It was wonderful to be able to share that with my mom. 

 My sister was the coordinator of the entire event, and I have no idea how she pulled it off - I am SOOO impressed at what she can do!  My Dad was busy in the medical tent treating dehydration, blisters, strains, and sprains.  What an awesome experience for my family.  I'd really like to get a team together to walk it next year.  Here is a picture from the closing ceremony.  What a weekend!  What a blessing!

Mommies & Kiddos

Looking back through our pictures over the summer I realized that we didn't have many family pictures nor did I have many mommy/kiddo pictures.  We used last weekend to take a few snapshots.  Here is one of our family.

I took the ones with my 2 older kids at church since I have either taught or been an assistant in both their classes all summer.  I enjoy teaching or assisting in my kids' classes b/c it is such a special time that each of my kids & I will remember. 

As for the last one - what can I say, my baby is no longer a baby but I still cherish the snuggles I get when feeding him (which will be short lived since we've got to get him off that  bottle soon).  These kiddos are growing up too fast!   

Family Friends

Our good friends came down for the long weekend for a fun visit.  They're considered family (we see them more than we see most of our family) and love getting to see them several times a year.  Our kids get along and play really well together.  The 4 big kids had a big slumber party at nights - this was the first time they were old enough and they did pretty well! Our girls went to dance class together on Saturday and enjoyed it so much while the boys went to a park. 

The adults had a whole wonderful afternoon to ourselves when we went to a wine festival and did some shopping. 

We love going up to see them and love having them come to see us or meeting somewhere in the middle.  It's always sure to be a blast!  Can't wait to see them again in a few months! :)

Birthday Party

We had my son's 1st birthday party tonight.  Here are a few pictures.  It was a blast!

Celebrating One Year!

My baby boy turns one today.  His first year of life has gone by far too quickly!  Looking back over the first year of his life reminded me of how completely and  utterly dependent on God we are.  My pregnancy with him was difficult, filled with shots, medications, worry, and perinatologist visits.   The night before I had him was sleepless for my husband and I after he checked his email at 10PM to discover a message from the employer he was relocating our family to work for stating that his job offer had been rescinded based on problems with his paperwork.  There we were, on the verge of having our third child and my husband & I  had no jobs, and our house had sold and was under contract.  I'm not sure he & I had ever been so scared in our lives.  It was a horrible night.

The following morning we dragged ourselves to L&D for my induction.  I remember very little of labor.  What I do remember is my husband being on his cell phone all day trying to figure out what had gone wrong with his paperwork and what to do.  By the evening, nothing was resolved with his job, but we had a beautiful, healthy baby boy.  

By the time he was 2 weeks old our plans had changed.  Although everything was resolved with his potential employer who admitted fault with his paperwork, my husband's experience with that company had pretty much ruined his desire to work for them.  His & my wonderful employers gladly gave us our old jobs back, and the contract on our house fell through so we could stay in our home.  However, we had lost the chance to live closer to family and to make a new start in a new location.  The stress had taken a toll, my milk supply was nonexistent, my husband and I were fighting, and in my exhaustion and sadness even caring for my sweet baby and kids didn't help make things better.  Remembering it still makes my heart ache - even a year later.

By winter, my baby boy and his siblings had grown.  All 3 were thriving and healthy, but I couldn't shake the sadness.  It monopolized my days and kept me awake at night.  Around the time I should have been feeling better rested b/c the baby was sleeping better, my exhaustion reached a peak.  I didn't really want to do anything whether it was teaching, housework, cooking, exercising, or even playing with my kids.  It was a cold, dark day in February when my husband sat me down and told me it was time to get some help.  I didn't even realize how bad I had gotten until he brought it to my attention. Oddly enough, as morose and anxious as I was, my baby boy was completely the opposite.  His nature was coming into focus as energetic, gregarious, and fun-loving.  His frequent, infectious laughter is one of my favorite sounds.

Thankfully, I was able to start some medication quickly and started feeling better.  Unfortunately some damage had been done as I found out on my semester student evaluations when one student wrote, "Dr.__ is a great, knowledgeable instructor.  She is nice and approachable, but she just didn't seem like she cared..."  That comment hurt because just about the time I read it, I had finally started to care again.  I'm sorry to have denied my students that part of me.

By May, my sweet baby boy had learned to crawl and things were looking better all around.  Training again for triathlons really helped.  I began to see how God was blessing us rather than focusing on what He had "taken away".  He blessed my husband at work with 2 huge promotions in one year.  He blessed me at work by giving me a glowing mid-probationary review.  He kept our kids healthy and allowed us to keep our home.  He carried us through our sad times and continues to bless us even when we are ungrateful. 

Now, it has been a year.  I have experienced and recovered from postpartum depression.  While things are still hectic with the daily mommy juggle, I am in a very different place now than a year ago.  I see God in my husband, my kids, and our life here.  Happy birthday my sweet baby boy!  What a difference a year makes!  Mommy loves you!